Time is passing so fast. Suddenly I recognize that it’s been 2 weeks since the last time I saw my Dad :)
Deadly painful.
Sometimes, in my silent room, I think of my next-year-plan and mixed feelings rise in my heart. I know, some people would blame me for that plan but I believe that was what my Dad want me to do. I would never forget what my Mom told me abt last “real” conversation between them.
I think of “My Day” - I could hardly ever image my special day without Dad :) Why didn’t I meet my boyfriend 1-2 years ago? Why didn’t I have a good-enough relationship 1-2years ago? If so, I might get married with my Dad on the stage saying “Thank you for your attendence..” And I know for sure, he would be the happiest man on that day..
These questions have run around in my mind times to times and I always end up with a same line “It’s all abt destiny”. Even now I cry thousand times or I pray thousand times, my Dad’s gone to another world. Yes, I’ve tried hard to convince myself that’s the best thing for Dad even next year, no one stands there with me, next to my Mom.
Living itself is the hardest battle already.
Eventhough, my life is going on, I can’t stand here with tears and sadness forever. I will get married and live happily as my Dad love to see. And I believe he is smling somewhere, right Dad? :)
